D'Esta Love Why Am I Afraid?

Paul defined why women THINK that truth began with them--now fully revealed

To MY surprise, I found they were encouraging and supportive. I regretted I had not discussed these matters with them before, but I had been afraid. Their love and support have given me courage,
        and we have been liberated to EXPLORE together
        with openness and trust the hidden and unspoken concerns of our hearts.
        The CAPTIVES have been set free, for it is fear that ENSLAVES us.

2Pet. 2:19 While they promise them LIBERTY,
        they themselves are the servants of CORRUPTION:--
AUTHENTIA

Authent-ēs   [1]  2.  perpetrator, author,praxeōsPlb.22.14.2; hierosulias
 [A Temple Robber or a robber of faithful churches to join the instrumental sectarians]
dēmos authentēs khthonos
praxis    action in drama, opp. logos, 2. action, exercise, kheirōn, skelōn, stomatos, phōnēs, dianoias, Pl.La.192a
       
Plat. Lach. 192a quickness, [ērōtōn] as we find it in running and harping [kitharizein], in speaking and learning  2. practice, i.e. trickery, treachery, VIII. discourse, lecture of a rhetorician or philosopher, Jul.Or.2.59c,
[2] dēmos  authentē  khthonos” 3. Earth, as a goddess,  E.Supp.442 A.Pr.207, Eu.6.
[3] dēmos  authentē  khthonos” 3. Earth, as a goddess,  E.Supp.442 A.Pr.207, Eu.6.
E.Supp.442

Orestes Lady Athena, first of all I will take away a great anxiety from your last words. I am not a suppliant in need of purification, nor did I sit at your image with pollution on my hands. [445] I will give you strong proof of this. It is the law for one who is defiled by shedding blood to be barred from speech until he is sprinkled with the blood of a new-born victim by a man who can purify from murder. [450] Long before at other houses I have been thus purified both by victims and by flowing streams.
ores-teros , a, on, poet. for oreinos, epith. of a snake, Il.22.93 ; of wolves and lions, Od.10.212 ; A.orestera pambōti gaS.Ph.391 (lyr.); “parthenosE.Tr.551 (lyr.); “agreutēresOpp.H.4.586. (Posit. Adj. formed from orosto), opp. agroteros from agros.

[4] authenta hēlie  Helios, LUCIFER the sun-god, Od.8.271   Hēliou astēr, of the planet Saturn, identified with APOLLON
Helius, the sun-god, son of Hyperion father of Circe [Circe, Kirke or church is the holy harlot around Patmos
[5] astēr aster' opōrinō  II. metaph. of illustrious persons, etc., “phanerōtaton aster' AthēnasE.Hipp.1122 (lyr.);
[8] Mousaōn astera kai KharitōnGRACES [The Muses in Revelation 18 as sorcerers were led by Apollon and were known as adulterers and SHEPHERDESSES. They were the Brides or Nymphs in Revelation as part of the Hieros Gamos: They are called sorcerers using the same word as the original Babylon Mother of Harlots.  That is why John groups sorcerers with dogs (male priests) and promised that THEY WILL BE CAST ALIVE INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE     Paul wanted women to be SAFE in childbearing. Teaching children that Scripture is a lie and you know better than recorded history is the process of

PEOPLE WHO LUST TO LIVE OFF WIDOWS AND HONEST WORKERS, KNOW THE SECRET

John 17:14 I have given them THY WORD;
        and the WORLD hath hated them,
        because they are not OF THE WORLD, even as I am not of the world.
John 17:15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world,
        but that thou shouldest keep them from the EVIL. [Laded burden: spiritual anxiety through religious rituals]
John 17:16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

--Aristoph. Thes. 101
Agathon Damsels, with the sacred torch in hand, unite your dance to shouts of joy in honor of the nether goddesses; celebrate the freedom of your country.
Agathon's Chorus To what divinity is your homage addressed? [105] I wish to mingle mine with it.
Agathon Oh! Muse! glorify Phoebus [AOPOLLON] with his golden bow,
        who erected [110] the walls of the city of the Simois.
Agathon's Chorus To thee, oh Phoebus, I dedicate my most beauteous songs;
        to thee, the sacred victor in the poetical contests.
Agathon's Chorus I do honor to the divine Leto and to the lyre,
        the mother of songs [125] of male and noble strains.
        The eyes of the goddess sparkle while listening to our enthusiastic chants.
        Honor to the powerful Phoebus! Hail! blessed son of Leto.

 Ar. Th.128 --Agallô [Pass., mostly in pres. and imperf.] to make glorious, glorify, exalt, c. acc. : esp. to pay honour to a god, ag. tina thusiaisi Ar.; to adorn, deck, gamêlious eunas Eur.; Pass. to glory, take delight, exult in a thing, a. strut in borrowed plumes, pay honour to a god, “agalle Phoibon{Abaddon, Apollyon}
.
-Bombus , i, m., = bombos, I. a hollow, deep sound, a booming, humming, buzzing: of bees; of a horn; of the clapping of hands: si (apes) intus faciunt bombum,Varr. R. R. 3, 16, 32: “cum tuba.[inciting civil war].. mugit, Et reboat raucum regio cita barbara bombum,Lucr. 4, 546: “raucisonos [various sounds of tongue, Compel young children unto gesturings, Perpetual vain dingdong in their ears Of spoken sounds unheard before].efflabant cornua bombos,Cat. 64, 263: “torva mimalloneis inplerunt cornua [A bugle-horn, a horn, trumpet] bombis,Pers. 1, 99 Coningt. ad loc.; Mart. Cap. 1, § 67; 2, § 197: “organorum, Serv. ad Verg. A. 7, 23: “qui plausuum genera condiscerent (bombos et imbrices et testas vocabant),Suet. Ner. 20 

 
I am also encouraged by the prayers of other

        women and am discovering that I am not alone in
MY journey.
        I have found both men and women who are faithfully searching God’s word

                to discover his WILL as we face the issues

                regarding Christian MINISTRY for women in the church.

1Pet. 4:9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
1Pet. 4:10 As every man hath received the gift,
        even so minister the same one to another,
        as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

THE EXCEPTION IS NOT HIDDEN FOR SPEAKING ROLES

1Pet. 4:11 If any man SPEAK,
        let him speak as the ORACLES of God;
“oracles of God” is logion Theou (logion being the plural form of logos).
3051. λόγιον logion, log´-ee-on; neuter of 3052; an utterance (of God): — oracle.

THE ONLY SPEAKING OR READING ROLE IS THE WORD OF GOD.

Logos IV. inward debate of the soul, reflection, deliberation
Regulative and formative forces, derived from the intelligible and operative in the sensible universe,

Opposite to epithumia
 A. desire, yearning, longing after a thing, desire of or for it, Theaomai :--gaze at, behold, mostly with a sense of wonder3. view as spectators
Opposite Pathos  A. that which happens to a person or thing, incident, accident,  Moralizing Rhetoric
Opposite Poiein to excite passion, Arist.Rh.1418a12; V. Rhet., emotional style or treatment,
Opposite Enthousi-astikos , ē, on, A. inspired,phusisPl.Ti.71e; esp. by music,
Prose
 OPPOSITE -poiêsis, Id.R.390a;
OPPOSITE -poiêtikê, D.H.Comp.6; OPPOSITE poiêmata, onomatopoeic word
OPPOSITE  emmetra Modus   2. The measure of tones, measure, rhythm, melody, harmony, time; in poetry, measure, metre, mode: Mūsĭcus a, um, adj., = mousikos.
X. the Word or Wisdom of God, personified as his agent in creation and world-government,

Theologians are doomed to call God a liar or INCOMPETENT.  If God had wanted any kind of music in the tuneful sense He was INTELLIGIBLE But denied by C. Leonard Allen.

mousikos kai melōn poētēs
2. generally, votary of the Muses,  The Muses were the LOCUSTS unleashed with Apollon their "musical worship leaders." The Greek and Latin literature identifies them as dirty adulteresses

http://www.piney.com/DocHesTheog.html
[25] the Muses of Olympus, daughters of Zeus who holds the aegis: “Shepherds of the wilderness,
        wretched things of shame, mere bellies,
        we know how to speak many false things as though they were true;
        but we know, when we will, to utter true things.”
            ...and they bade me sing of the race of the blessed gods that are eternally,
                but ever to sing of themselves both first and last.
pharma^kon 3. enchanted potion, philtre: hence, charm, spell, Od.4.220 sq., Ar.Pl.302, [Circe, Church, Corinth mother of harlots]  Theoc.2.15

The singers [Muses], instrument players and craftsmen as sorcerers in Revelation 18.
The Jesus and Paul PATTERN is that of a Servant. Jesus spoke only what He heard from the Father. Paul spoke what Jesus in the new STATE of Holy Spirit inspired him to speak and write. The apt elders as the pastor-teacher is limited to teaching that which has been taught.

However, the "scholars" who have abandoned Holy Scripture lie to God, about God and to females who lust for the role Jesus and P:aul died for.

God in heaven knows that Females have no intention of SPEAKING or READING the once-preached Holy Scriptures.
if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth:
        that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ,
        to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

We are FINDING TOOLS for the ANALYSIS of scripture
        which allow us to view the role of women
        in the LARGER context of SCRIPTURE, rather

        than allow two heavily disputed passages to relegate women to a silent role.

D'esta is doing what Paul warned about. The Later-Day revelation calls Paul and the several "thus saith the law" liars.

1Cor. 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches:
        for it is not permitted unto them to speak;
        but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1Cor. 14:35 And if they will learn any thing,
        let them ask their husbands at home:
        for it is a SHAME for women to SPEAK in the church.
eperōt-aō
Thuc. 5.45 lest, if they should say the same before the people, the multitude would be drawn unto their side, smikron ti tōn rhēthentōn call it in question, 
lalein chatter, opp. articulate speech, as of LOCUSTS, chirp, Theoc.5.34; mesēmbrias lalein tettix
to be questioned, asked a question, III.  of musical sounds, “aulō laleōTheoc.20.29; of trees, v.supr.1.2; “di'aulou ē salpiggos l.Arist. Aud.801a29; of Echo, D.C.74.14: also c.acc. cogn., magadin lalein sound the magadis,
Sara Barton: Teaches what I call a NEW homiletic. of or relating to homiletics also : preachy
marked by obvious moralizing : didactic put off by the speaker's preachy tone " If I shall therefore go preachy so shah I lay and SHAME myself and God tliereto, and make them the more to despise God, and set the less by HIM antl to be the more cruel unto his people

Schopenhauer, on this point, echoes Plato.
        By means of massive irruptions,  [overtones]
        MUSIC takes up residence in our intimate self
        and seemingly elects to make its home there.
The man inhabited and possessed by this intruder,
        the man ROBBED of a self, is no longer himself:
        he has become nothing more than a vibrating string, a sounding pipe.
He trembles MADLY under the bow or the fingers of the instrumentalist;
        and just as APOLLON fills the Pythia’s lungs,
        so the ORGAN'S powerful voice
        and the HARP'S gentle accents take possession of the listener.

This process, at once IRRATIONAL and SHAMFUL, takes place on the margins of truth,
        and thus borders more on magic than on empirical science.

The magical induction becomes a seduction and thus trickery,
        and an ADULT refuses to be captivated,
        resisting the beliefs suggested to him by the auletic. [piper?]

A WOMAN who persuades solely by means of her presence and its perfumes,

        that is, by the magical exhalations of her being,
        the night that envelops us, MUSIC, which secures our allegiance
        solely through the Charm engendered by a TRILL or an ARPEGGIO,
        will therefore be the object of a  deep suspicion.

-Jactant Th throw, cast, hurl, to scatter semen. To throw, toss about, make gestures, throw kisses, to be restless, rebellius, sow serpen's seed. “irrita sacrilega jactas incendia dextra,id. M. 14, 539: “hastas,Cic. de Or. 2, 78, 3 [cause controversy about questions]
-Să_crĭlĕgus , a, um, adj. sacer-lego, I. that steals sacred things, that robs a temple, sacrilegious: (tithes and offerings)
Ovid, Meta 14.527
When the holy mother of the gods, recalling
how those same pines were felled on Ida's crest,
filled the wind with a sound of cymbals clashed
and TRILL of boxwood flutes. Borne through light air
by her famed lion yoke, she came and said,
“In vain you cast the fire with impious hand,
Turnus, for I will save this burning fleet.
I will not let the greedy flame consume
trees that were part and members of my grove.”
1Cor. 14:36 WHAT? came the WORD of God out from you? or came it unto you only?
1Cor. 14:37 If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.



Women LUST to perform "worship" which consists ONLY of FALLING ON YOUR FACE in Reverence and Godly Fear.
Women DETEST being on the plan to perform the act of worship called PRAYING.
Jesus died to give us REST from programmed WORSHIP SERVICES such as the Jacob-Cursed and God-Abandoned Priests and Levites who God turned over to worship the STARRY HOST.  That includes Apollo or Apollyon learned befe the Exodus.
Jesus said that children of the KING do not pay temple taxes. Paul denied that giving only to the destitute was a COMMAND.
GOD providing no funding for any "worship system" in a house.

Acts.17.25.God.Not.Worshipped.Mens.Hands.html

Scribes and Pharisees Jesus called Hypocrites (performance speaking for pay, singing or playing instruments.
They had to compose their OWN songs and sermons to justify fleecing the widows.
Isaiah 55 outlaws selling the FREE water of the Word.



God sent Jesus to seek and save Lost brother SPIRITS: they are IN the world but not OF the World. The only agents are EVANGELISTS. They only have to preach the GOOD NEWS that Jesus is seeking them: THOSE able to HEAR the invitation SEAL their rescued status by being baptized.

Rom. 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

ISN'T THIS A LAW??

Rom. 10:15 And how shall they preach, except they BE SENT?
        as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them 
        that preach the gospel of peace, and BRING glad tidings of good things!
2Tim. 1:10 But is now made manifest
        by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ
        who hath abolished death,
        and hath brought life and immortality to light through the GOSPEL:

Rom. 10:16 But they have not all obeyed the GOSPEL.
          For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?
Rom. 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God
Rom. 10:18 But I say, Have they not heard? Yes verily,
          their SOUND WENT  into all the earth,           and their words [WENT]unto the ends of the world.




D'Esea Love, like most of us, has never been taught the meaning of CHURCH, Ekklesia, Synagogue or a School of Christ only.  Women are to LEARN in silence because that is  the only way to learn by meditating on "that which was written for our LEARNING."  The HOUSE of God means that it is His Family and is defined as excluding SENCING for someone to come in and become the SURROGATE Father.


John 8:26 I have many things to say and to judge of you:
        but he that sent me is true;
        and I SPEAK to the world those things
        which I have HEARD of him.

SPIRIT can never be a person or a God. SPIRIT is figurative or a PARABLE. It is always expressed as:

God puts His WORD into the MOUTH of the Prophets and the MAN Jesus for the last time


John 8:27 They understood not that he spake to them of the Father.
John 8:28 Then said Jesus unto them,
        When ye have lifted up the Son of man,
        then shall ye know that I am he,
        and that I do nothing of myself;
                but as my Father hath TAUGHT me,
                I
SPEAK these things.
John 8:29 And he that sent me is with me:
        the Father hath not left me alone;
         for I DO always those things that PLEASE him.
John 8:30 As he spake these WORDS, many believed on him.
John 8:31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him,
        IF ye continue in my WORD, THEN are ye my disciples indeed;


SPIRIT is always stated as God puts His WORD into the MOUTH of Jesus for the very last time.

I think that means that we probably cannot find a Word-Centered church anymore.  MOST say that they are CHRIST CENTERED which means that they are ANTI anything written as LETTER which YOU cannot understand unless you procure a THEOLOGIAN.

John 8:37 I know that ye are Abraham’s seed;
        but ye seek to kill me, because my WORD hath NO place in you.
John 8:38  I SPEAK that which I have SEEN with my Father:
         and ye DO that which ye have seen with your father.


Devil Do: poiētai 4. after Hom., of Poets, compose, write, p. dithurambon, epea, Hdt.1.23, 4.14; “p. theogoniēn 

Epos  joined with muthos,     1. song or lay accompanied by music, 8.91,17.519.
2. fiction (opp. logos, historic truth),  THE REGULATIVE PRINCIPLE

Hdt. 1.23 Periander, who disclosed the oracle's answer to Thrasybulus, was the son of Cypselus, and sovereign of Corinth.
        The Corinthians say (and the Lesbians agree) that the most marvellous thing [Lying Wonders]
        that happened to him in his life was the landing on Taenarus of Arion of Methymna, brought there by a dolphin.
This Arion was a lyre-player second to none in that age; he was the first man whom we know to compose and name the dithyramb1
         which he afterwards taught at Corinth.

1 The dithyramb was a kind of dance-music particularly associated with the cult of Dionysus.

Devil Do: LATIN:   făcĭo ,  to make in all senses, to do, perform, accomplish, prepare, produce, bring to pass, cause, effect, create, commit, perpetrate, form, fashion operor Lying Wonder,  poëma,to compose, id. Pis. 29, 70: “carmina,Juv. 7, 28: “versus,id. 7, 38: “sermonem,Cic. Fam. 9, 8, 1; cf. “litteram, id. Ac. 2, 2, 6: ludos, to celebrate, exhibit, admirationem alicujus rei alicui,to excite [the Laded Burden],

Devil Do: carmen
 I.a tune, song; poem, verse; an oracular response, a prophecy; a form of incantation (cf.: cano, cantus, and canto). note, sound, both vocal and instrumental “also versus, numeri, modi): carmen tuba ista peregit ( = sonus),Enn. Ann. 508 Vahl.: “carmine vocali clarus citharāque Philammon,Ov. M. 11, 317; cf. “vocum,id. ib. 12, 157: “per me (sc. Apollinem) concordant carmina nervis
barbaricum, id. M. 11, 163.—With allusion to playing on the cithara: The Mother o Harlots in John 17 Carminibus Circe socios mutavit Ulixi,
Devil Do:   Commercium sermonis,  7  In mercant. lang., to practise, exercise, follow any trade or profession:  8. In relig. lang., like the Gr. rhezein, to perform or celebrate a religious rite; to offer sacrifice, make an offering, to sacrifice:

Devil Do: Mousa   II. mousa, as Appellat., music, song, m. stugeraA.Eu.308 (anap.); “euphamosId.Supp.695 
Kanakhan .Clanging Brass
 Theias 
as many as made them hope by divinations, Madness caused by Ritual
       
worship as divine, Puthagoran  [Of the Cosmos, the Ecumenical, Kingdom of the Devil."
Antiluron mousas
S.Tr.643 (lyr.);  PLAYING THE LYRE
Aiakō moisan pherein
I. bear or carry a load,  A Laded Burden

WHY MAX LUCADO, RICK ATCHLEY, JOHN T. WILLIS, LYNN ANDERSON CANNOT BE CHRISTIANS.

Why.Max.Lucado.Not.A.Christian

-Plato Laws 10 [885d] that before threatening us harshly,
        you should first try to convince and teach us,
        by
producing adequate proofs, that gods exist,
        and that they are too good to be wheedled by gifts and turned aside from justice.
For as it is, this and such as this is the account of them
        we hear from those who are reputed the best of poets -[poiētōn], orators [rhētorōn], seers -[manteōn]oida], priests [hiereōn],
a
nd thousands upon thousands of others; and consequently most of us,
        instead of seeking to avoid wrong-doing,
        do the wrong and then try to make it good.  [Grace doesn't fix this]

-manti^s pl. mantides Suid.s.v. Sibulla:— diviner, seer, prophet,. of Apollon and Cassandra, Id.Ag.1275; of the Pythian priestess, II. a kind of grasshopper, the praying mantis, Mantis religiosa
[909b or open to bribes, despise men, charming the souls of many of the living, and claiming that they charm the souls of the dead,
        and promising to persuade the gods by bewitching them,
         as it were, with sacrifices, prayers and incantations,1
        and who try thus to wreck utterly not only individuals,
        but whole families [Oikia household] and States for the sake of money
Abilene Christian University was the spawning ground of the NEW HERMENEUTIC. This hallucinated that a spirit person was guiding them to repudiate Holy Scripture and be guided by what God calls "THEIR CONTINUAL EVIL IMAGINATION." Only a RARE woman in the Biblical period who wanted to have authority where AUTHENTIA is Sexual and destructive, was

Thomas Olbricht.
Thomas.Olbricht.Hearing.Gods.Voice.html
The.New.Hermeneutic.html

Jo Bass  Moving ACU int Baptist Heresy.

John.T.Willis.and.Jo.Bass.The.Holy.Spirit.html

        John T Willis
John.T.Willis.Women.in.Worship.Highland.Church.of.Christ.html
John.T.Willis.Feminists.Roots.of.Apostasy.html
http://www.pineycom.com/John.T.Willis.Instrumental.Melody.html
http://www.pineycom.com/John.T.Willis.Topsy-Turvy.Instrumental.Music.Worship.html
http://www.pineycom.com/John.T.Willis.Sing.and.Make.Melody.html
http://www.pineycom.com/John.T.Willis.Instrumental.Music.in.Worship.html
http://www.pineycom.com/G.E.Jones.Spiritual.Understanding.E.R.Harper.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Worship.Hebrew.Bible.John.T.Willis.html

        Lynn Anderson
http://www.pineycom.com/Lynn.Anderson.Oak.Hills.Church.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Debbie.Boggs.Psallo.Instrumental.Music.in.Worship.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Psallo.Mark.of.Effeminate.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Anderson.Psallo.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Anderson.Psallo.2.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Anderson-Shepherds.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Lynn.Anderson.Oak.Hills.Church.html
        Jeanene Reese "bound and determined"
http://www.pineycom.com/Jeanene.P.Reese.Theology.of.Women.Teachers.html
http://www.pineycom.com/Jeanene.Reese.LGBT.MUST.be.Included.html
Walk to Emmaus First Steps to women's takeover with SORCERY or Serpent Worship with Eve as the pattern.
Jackie.Halstead.Lectio-Divina.Sorcerers.html
A Spiral is NOT a Labyrinth: A Spiral is a  coil, wind, twirl, swirl, twist, wreathe, snake, gyrate

helix hai kinēseis kai helikes tou ouranouArist.Metaph.998a5
4. coil of a serpent, E.HF399(lyr.)
when you trill the lyre
Elelizô  --2. Med. and Pass., move in coils or spires, of a SERPENT, “tēn d' elelixamenos pterugos labenIl.2.316; ep' autou (sc. telamōnos)“ elelikto drakōn11.39, cf. A.R.4.143; “speiras opheōn elelizomenēAr.Fr. 500. Rev 13
1) Christian Mysticism
Contemplative spirituality has taken the church by storm. This issue is no
longer relegated to the fringe elements of Christianity. No denomination
is immune to its effects, despite the fact that it is the legacy of Roman
Catholic monks who merged Eastern spirituality with Christianity. We will
consider several of the most prominent practices of this “Christian”
mysticism, such as contemplative prayer, the prayer labyrinth, yoga, lectio
divina
Eur. Her. 399 Chorus   And he came to those minstrel maids, [395] to their orchard in the west, to pluck from golden leaves the apple-bearing fruit, when he had slain the tawny dragon, whose terrible coils were twined all round to guard it; [400] and he made his way into ocean's lairs, bringing calm to men that use the oar.

Used with
Kineo set in motion, age kinēsas, of Hermes leading the souls, Od.24.5; simply, move, “oude ti kinēsai meleōn ēn8.298;

Musical melody is MELOS and is never used in Scripture.
dismember   in h.Merc.419)
3. melody of an instrument, “phormigx d' au phtheggoith' hieron m. ēde kai aulosThgn.761; “aulōn pamphōnon m.
HH 4 419 So saying, Apollon twisted strong withes with his hands [409a] meaning to bind Hermes with firm bands...
        Very easily he softened [sorcery] the son of all-glorious Leto as he would, stern though the Far-shooter was.
He took the lyre upon his left arm and tried [psallo] each string in turn with the key, so that at his touch [420] it sounded awesomely. And Phoebus Apollon laughed for joy;
        for the sweet throb of the marvellous music went to his HEART,
        and a soft longing took hold on his soul as he listened.
Then the son of Maia, harping sweetly upon his lyre, took courage and stood at the left hand [425] of Phoebus Apollo; and soon, while he played shrilly on his lyre, he lifted up his voice and sang, and lovely was the sound of his voice that followed.

Jeanene.Reese.Malachi.3Sorcery.gif Enoch.Jude.Sorcery.gif


The Loves with the Publishing of Leaven most articles hostile to the Historic Church of Christ and "bound and determined" to join the Babylon Mother of Harlots (Revelation 17)
Rom. 3:13 Their throat is an open sepulchre;
        with their tongues they have used deceit;
        the poison of asps is under their lips:

vĕnēnum
  
avaritia pecuniae studium habet
effeminat, to make womanish, effeminate, to enervate A. Womanish, effeminate (cf.: “mollis, luxuriosus, dissolutus): ne quid effeminatum aut molle sit   “effeminata et enervis compositio,Quint. 9, 4, 142;
B. In mal. part., that submits to unnatural lust: “pathicus,Suet. Aug. 68; Auct. Priap. 58, 2; Vulg. 3 Reg. 14, 24 al.—Adv.: effēmĭnāte , effeminately (

vox , inclinata ululantique voce canere    “tremebunda,id. ib. 3, 14, 25: “theatrum ita resonans, ut usque Romam significationes vocesque referantur,

DIVINA the Thessalian Witch

Hor. S. 1, 10, 32: “siderā excantata voce Thessalā,incantation, id. Epod. 5, 45: “consulum voci atque imperio non oboedire,command

ex-canto , āvi, ātum (excantassit = excantaverit, Tab

Cic. Planc. 35.86 When no one knew what were the feelings of those men who by means of their armies, and their arms, and their riches, were the most powerful men in the state, then that voice, rendered insane by its infamous debaucheries, made effeminate by its attendance on holy altars, kept crying out in a most ferocious manner that both these men and the consuls were acting in concert with him.Needy men were armed against the rich, abandoned men against the good, slaves against their masters.

1 Kings 14.24 and there were also sodomites in the land: they did according to all the abominations of the nations which Yahweh drove out before the children of Israel

Rom. 3:14 Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:
Rom. 3:15 Their feet are swift to shed blood:
Rom. 3:16 Destruction and misery are in their ways:
Rom. 3:17 And the way of peace have they not known:
Rom. 3:18 There is no fear of God before their eyes.

There is no reason for D'este Love to know that the ONLY meaning of WORSHIP is to fall on your face in Reverence and Godly Fear.  There is no example in Holy Scripture (Prophets and Apostles) of God calling people out of their REST to Preach, Listen, sing, play an instrument, act or PAY FOR PLAY.

D'Esta Love: The invitation is clear and unmistakable, "Anyone who wants to may pray." There have been numerous times before in worship services and moments for spontaneous prayer when I excluded myself because I knew that "anyone" did not mean "me." However, this time I am certain. I have been invited to pray.

As I sit beside my husband, feel a growing eagerness and desire to give voice to the words welling up-for a lifetime-within ME. But this is not the privacy of someone's home, or a gathering of women for a Bible class or special lecture series. This is the sanctuary of the gathered church at prayer, and I have been invited to participate in what, until now, has been forbidden in my religious experience. CanI, after fifty-two years, break the silence?

I know that MY name will be attached to this prayer, and word of MY participation will spread. As the daughter of a preacher, I know too well the concern about what others will think. Ifear MY motives will be critiqued by people who do not know me, in places I have never been. I also know I will be labeled and judged by individuals who do not know MY heart. And I am fearful of censure from those who know and love me.

Why am I afraid? I am fifty-two years old, and yet I fear the disapproval of MY parents. I know that MY father always encouraged MY mother and his daughters to pray at home.I also know he invited women to pray in the numerous ladies’ Bible classes he taught (a bold move in his day). But I do not know what MY parents will think about this decision and MY part in it. On the other hand,I am concerned that this public prayer will bring criticism to MY parents and their ministry, as well as to our son and his work in the Kingdom.

D'Esta Love has been VICTIMIZED and ABUSED

TOO BAD THAT PREACHERS CANNOT READ THE TEXT: THERE IS NOT EXAMPLE OF THE ASSEMBLY OF CHRIST GATHERING TO ENGAGE IN VAIN REPITATIONS.

Pet. 4:11 If any man speak,
        let him speak as the ORACLES of God;
        if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth:
        that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ,
        to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.


1Sam. 1:11 And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts,
         if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid,
        and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid,
        but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child,
        then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life,
        and there shall no razor come upon his head.

1Sam. 1:12 And it came to pass, as she continued praying before the LORD,
         that Eli marked her mouth.

1Sam. 1:13 Now Hannah, she spake IN HER HEART
        only her lips moved,
        but her voice was not heard: therefore Eli thought she had been drunken.

1Sam. 1:14 And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine from thee.
1Sam. 1:15 And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.
1Sam. 1:16 Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
1Sam. 1:17 Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.


Matt. 6:5 ¶ And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Matt. 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
Matt. 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
Matt. 14:23 And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
Mark 5:18 And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.
Mark 6:46 And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.


Holy Scripture for the Kingdom of Christ commanded to SPEAK only His Word.  That is the Prophets and other prophecies "concerning me."
SPIRIT is never a person but a parable to FOOL anyone who wants to SPEAK their ow word: it means that God put His WORD into the MOUITH of Jesus for the duration of His CREATION of the Messianic Kingdom.

ALL passages speaking of WOMEN BEING SILENT are:

First: The Christian Assembly was defined as the church in the wilderness: Reading and Musing the WORD of God once each REST DAY.
Second: Reading "that which is written for our learning is to MARK those who lust to PERFORM their own sermons, songs or prayers.
Third: Women had the ability to prove themselves MEDIATORS with A god  by falling into ECSTATIC singing, defined by Paul, as the made women of Corinth.
Fourth: composing their own songs or sermons was a SIGN that "All were not SAFE and could not come to a knowledge of THE TRUTH."

1Tim. 2:3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;
1Tim. 2:4 Who will have all men to be saved,  [kept safe]
        and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

Men are to be peaceable or SILENT along with the women or the President who was the READER in the synagogue but NEVER a preacher.

1Tim. 2:5 For there is ONE GOD,
        and one mediator between God and men, the MAN Christ Jesus;
1Tim. 2:6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be TESTIFIED in due time.


1Cor. 1:6 Even as the TESTIMONY of Christ was confirmed in you:
1Cor. 2:1 And I, brethren, when I came to you,
        came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, [Sophistry: speaking, singing, playing an instrument]
         DECLARING [Speak] unto you the
TESTIMONY of God.

BY THEIR VISUAL AID, DESPERATELY SEEKING WOMEN ARE ASHAMED OF GOD

2Tim. 1:8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner:
        but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

Rev. 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb,
        and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death

Rev. 12:17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Rev. 15:5 ¶ And after that I looked, and, behold, the temple of the tabernacle of the testimony in heaven was opened:
Rev. 19:10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the TESTIMONY of Jesus is the SPIRIT of prophecy.

1Cor. 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
1Cor. 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches:
         for it is not permitted unto them to speak;
        but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

1Cor. 14:35 And if they will LEARN any thing, let them ask their husbands at home:
        for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

BECAUSE WOMEN WHO ALWAYS BROUGHT ON CEREMONY AND ADORNING BELIEVED THAT THEIR WORDS WERE THE WORDS OF A DOD.
.
1Cor. 14:36 What? came the WORD of God out from you? or came it unto you only?
1Cor. 14:37 If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual,
        let him acknowledge that the things that I WRITE unto you
        are the commandments of the Lord.

1Cor. 14:38 But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.

The command was to PREACH the Word by READING the Word.  People were trained in the oral tradition and could memorize long portions: that was the command for rest, reading and rehearsing the Word.  They may have had notes because reading and writing was trained in the synagogue schools..


Logos  computation, reckoning 2. statement of a theory, argument, ouk emeu alla tou l. akousantas prob. in Heraclit.50; logon ēde noēma amphis alētheiēs discourse and reflection on reality,
IV. inward debate of the soul, reflection, deliberation
Regulative and formative forces, derived from the intelligible and operative in the sensible universe,

Opposite to epithumia
 A. desire, yearning, longing after a thing, desire of or for it, Theaomai :--gaze at, behold, mostly with a sense of wonder3. view as spectators
Opposite Pathos  A. that which happens to a person or thing, incident, accident,  Moralizing Rhetoric
Opposite Poiein to excite passion, Arist.Rh.1418a12; V. Rhet., emotional style or treatment,
Opposite Enthousi-astikos , ē, on, A. inspired,phusisPl.Ti.71e; esp. by music,
Prose
 OPPOSITE -poiêsis, Id.R.390a;
OPPOSITE -poiêtikê, D.H.Comp.6; OPPOSITE poiêmata, onomatopoeic word
OPPOSITE  emmetra Modus   2. The measure of tones, measure, rhythm, melody, harmony, time; in poetry, measure, metre, mode: Mūsĭcus a, um, adj., = mousikos.
X. the Word or Wisdom of God, personified as his agent in creation and world-government,

Theologians are doomed to call God a liar or INCOMPETENT.  If God had wanted any kind of music in the tuneful sense He was INTELLIGIBLE But denied by C. Leonard Allen.

mousikos kai melōn poētēs
2. generally, votary of the Muses,  The Muses were the LOCUSTS unleashed with Apollon their "musical worship leaders." The Greek and Latin literature identifies them as dirty adulteresses

http://www.piney.com/DocHesTheog.html
[25] the Muses of Olympus, daughters of Zeus who holds the aegis: “Shepherds of the wilderness,
        wretched things of shame, mere bellies,
        we know how to speak many false things as though they were true;
        but we know, when we will, to utter true things.”
            ...and they bade me sing of the race of the blessed gods that are eternally,
                but ever to sing of themselves both first and last.
pharma^kon 3. enchanted potion, philtre: hence, charm, spell, Od.4.220 sq., Ar.Pl.302, [Circe, Church, Corinth mother of harlots]  Theoc.2.15

The singers [Muses], instrument players and craftsmen as sorcerers in Revelation 18.


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D'esta.Love.Habakkuk.2.SilenceB.gif




2Chr. 20:18 And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground:
        and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem
        fell before the LORD, worshipping the LORD.

1Cor. 14:25 And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest;
        and so falling down on his face he will worship God,
        and report that God is in you of a truth.
Rev. 7:11 And all the angels stood round about the throne,
         and about the elders and the four beasts,
        and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God,
Rev. 11:16 And the four and twenty elders,
        which sat before God on their seats,
        fell upon their faces, and worshipped God,

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Hebrews.2.Sing.CongregationB.gif




Luke 4:16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read.
Acts 13:15 And after the reading of the law and the prophets the rulers of the synagogue sent unto them, saying, Ye men and brethren, if ye have any word of exhortation for the people, say on.
Acts 15:21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.

 

 



by D’Esta Love

March, 1992

It is a familiar setting. It is the church that has nurtured me from MY birth, and its beliefs, as well as its rhythms and practices, are ingrained in MY very being and speak to who I am in MY truest self. It is a setting pregnant with memory. It is the church at WORSHIP. It echoes the rich tones of singing, yea, even the sound of MY own voice blended with those of the congregation. If I listen, I can almost hear the sermons of MY husband and MY father before him. This is a place that breathes comfort and blessing. This is MY family; I am at home here.

This particular occasion is a Sunday evening service with its characteristic informality and ease,
        and the church has GATHERED to PRAY.
Our minister has set the tone for the evening
        with a litany of individual and communal needs and concerns,
        blessings and praise,
        and he has invited the congregation to join him in prayer.
The invitation is clear and unmistakable, “Anyone who wants to may pray.” There have been numerous times before in WORSHIP services and moments for spontaneous prayer when
I excluded MYself because I knew that “anyone” did not mean “ME.” However, this time I am certain.  I have been invited to pray.

As I sit beside MY husband, I feel a growing eagerness and DESIRE to give voice to the words welling up—for a lifetime-within me. But this is not the privacy of someone’s home, or a gathering of women for a Bible class or special lecture series. This

is the SANCTUARY of the gathered church at prayer,
        and
I have been invited to participate in what,
        until now, has been forbidden in
MY religious experience.

SCRIPTURE IDENTIFIES THE EKKLESIA OR SYNAGOGUE GATHERING FOR A PUBLIC DEMONSTRAITON OF PRAYER:

Matt. 6:5 ¶ And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Matt. 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
Matt. 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

Can I, after fifty-two years, break the silence? I listen silently and with pounding heart as one by one, with complete freedom and spontaneity, men stand again and again from all corners of the auditorium to pray. II marvel at the apparent ease with which they pray and at their unhalting flow of words that resonate with a familiarity unknown to me, and I sit frozen. I wait, and no woman stands to pray, nor do I. It is intensely intimidating. After a lifetime of silence in the sanctuary of God, I cannot utter a word.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, I am caught in a deep, internal struggle. I have been given permission, and I want to pray, but I cannot.

The tears which accompany the tightening in MY throat are of hurt,  , shame and fear. This is MY church home; yet, for the first time in MY life I feel fear in the house of God. I am surrounded by people who love me, and I am comfortable here. The minister has extended ME an invitation to pra y—so why am I afraid?

I am afraid because MY roots are deep in the soil of MY faith and the religious tradition of MY childhood. I am afraid because I do not want to shatter the calm or disturb the peace I feel in this place. I know that there are those present who will be offended if I pray—who will consider MY prayer a violation of a direct command from the Word of God.

Leaven, Vol. 4 [2012], Iss. 2, Art. 3

lips did not move

Women and Ministry 5


The “forbidden” words I am about to utter could leave turmoil in their wake. I love this church and all it represents to me and others, and I do not want to harm it.

I am afraid because of the memories that rush into MY mind. I remember how I felt thirty years ago when the elders removed Randy from MY Sunday school class.

He was ten years old and had been baptized the previous week. Thus, Randy was a baptized male believer, and it was considered unsuitable for me, a woman, to continue teaching him the stories of Jesus.

I also remember, several years later, when the elders of another congregation asked Stuart and me to teach a Wednesday night class in the church auditorium.

At the conclusion of our lesson on John 13, an individual stood and expressed his disapproval and declared that we had set a dangerous precedent.

To conclude his remarks, he read 1 Peter 3:1-6. As I sat on the front pew before the congregation, the words exhorting a woman to adorn herself in “a gentle and quiet spirit” made me feel exposed and shameful, and they ring in MY ears as I contemplate accepting this invitation to pray.

1Pet. 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the WORD, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pet. 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1Pet. 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pet. 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart,
        in that which is not corruptible,
        even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1Pet. 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

1Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

THE PROPHETIC WARNING:

Isaiah 3:1 For, behold, the Lord, the LORD of hosts, doth take away from Jerusalem and from Judah the stay and the staff, the whole stay of bread, and the whole stay of water,
Isaiah 3:2 The mighty man, and the man of war, the judge, and the prophet, and the prudent, and the ancient,
Isaiah 3:3 The captain of fifty, and the honourable man, and the counseller, and the cunning artificer, and the eloquent orator.

Isaiah 3:4 And I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.
Isaiah 3:4 et dabo pueros principes eorum et effeminati dominabuntur eis

        dominabuntur Ruler,
        MARK Women or the Effeminate as  oratio,
        MARK Women or effeminate who are consilium the person who forms the purpose, 
        MARK Women or the effeminate who Teach Over  aedĭfĭco  in a religious sense, to build up,
      instruct, edify.

Isaiah 3:12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.
        O my people, they that lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.

mŭlĭer as a term of reproach, a woman, i. e. a coward, poltroon: arbĭtror to make a decision,
give judgment or sentence: OR mŭlĭĕro, to make womanish, render effeminate

Boys: -Effeminoto make womanish, effeminate, to enervate: “fortitudinis praeceptailla elocutio
res ipsas effeminat,
”  “mollis, luxuriosus, dissolutus): ne quid effeminatum aut molle sit,
Cic. Off. 1, 35, 129
; cf. id. Tusc. 4, 30: “intolerabile est servire impuro, impudico, effeminato, 
illa elocutio res ipsas effeminat,Quint. 8 prooëm. § 20. ēlŏcūtĭo  I. Transf., in rhet. lang., oratorical delivery, elocution;furialis illa vox, religiosis altaribus effeminata,that submits to unnatural lust: “pathicus,Suet. Aug. 68;
illa elocutio res ipsas effeminat,Quint. 8 prooëm. § 20. ēlŏcūtĭo  I. Transf., in rhet. lang., oratorical delivery, elocution;furialis illa vox, religiosis altaribus effeminata,that submits to unnatural lust: “pathicus,Suet. Aug. 68;
Cic. Planc. 35.86 When no one knew what were the feelings of those men who by means of their armies, and their arms, and their riches, were the most powerful men in the state, then that voice,    
    rendered insane
by its infamous debaucheries,

    made effeminate by its attendance on holy altars,
    kept crying out in a most ferocious manner that both these men
         and the consuls were acting in concert with him.
Needy men were armed against the rich,  abandoned men against the good, slaves against their masters.
Rĕlĭgĭōsus Eccl. Lat., of or belonging to the clergy, clerical (opp. saecularis)
Per-sŏno    A. To sound through and through, to resound: “cum domus cantu et cymbalis personaret,Cic. Pis. 10, 22: “ut cotidiano cantu vocum et nervorum et tibiarum nocturnisque conviviis tota vicinitas personet,
A.  To fill with sound or noise, to make resound
B.  To make a sound on a musical instrument, to sound, play: “citharā Iopas Personat,cymbalis, Vulg. 1 Par. 16, 5: buccinis, 
C. To sound or blow upon an instrument (post-class.): “personavit classicum,gave the signal for attack,
        Histrio, stage-player, actor, mimus, II. Transf., a boaster: histrionis est parvam rem attollere,
                ragoediarum histrionis,  Hilarus comoediarum histrio,
        Scaena, 1. Of a place like a scene of a theatreVerg. A. 1, 164.—, display of eloquence.

PUTTING ON OF APPAREL MEANS PUTTING ON CLERICAL GARB: That was a MARK Christ gave for the future kingdom.

Isaiah 3:15 What mean ye that ye beat my people to pieces, and grind the faces of the poor? saith the LORD GOD of hosts.
Isaiah 3:16 Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:
Isaiah 3:17 Therefore the LORD will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts.
Isaiah 3:18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,

The effect of the feminine or effeminate rule is that:
Isaiah 3:25 Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.


I am also afraid because  do not want an impulsive act on MY part to hinder any progress that has been made concerning women and the utilization of their gifts in the church.

ONE AND THEN ANOTHER


Yet, this is not impulsive. I have been invited to pray. So why am
I afraid? I am afraid of hearing the sound of solitary voice in this place of WORSHIP and among the congregation of the Lord.


FALL ON FACE
ACTS 17


Although I hear the words of MY prayer over and over in MY MY silent self, I cannot speak them. Perhaps if I had begun as a child, I would be less fearful. After all, we only had “training classes” for boys, and girls of MY generation did not pray in any setting-including devotionals.

Is it too late for me to bring MY gift to the altar? After fifty-two years of silence, have I grown mute? Are there no words I can utter “to ascribe thee glory and honor”? “What language shall I borrow to thank thee, dearest friend, for this thy dying sorrow, thy pity without end?”

ANATHEMA,  ROMANS 12 IN SPIRIT

September, 1992

Itis another familiar setting, but less nurturing and comforting than the security and peace of the church at worship.

JOHN 4 in SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH


It is Firestone Fieldhouse, the gymnasium on the campus ofPepperdine University. The occasion is our weekly convocation, and I have been asked by the president of the university to open the 1992-93 academic year with a prayer. As the dean of students, I have stood before this audience week after week for four years. I have presided over the program, introduced guest speakers and even shared
MY faith. Today, I have been asked to pray. It is a simple thing. So why am I afraid?

SELF SUPERCEDES SCRIPTURE

I am afraid because I have known of this assignment for weeks. It has been a weighty decision for the university, one that was made after two years of prayerful and diligent study. Although I had no part in making the decision, I participated in many of the discussions, and I am well aware of the sensitivity involved, as well as the possible ramifications. It has been a courageous decision for the university to make, and I anticipate it will be controversial. Until now, women have not been allowed to lead prayer or read scripture in our convocation programs. Today we are empowering our women to participate fully in the spiritual life of the university.

I am empowered by the significance of the moment, but I am apprehensive and fearful about the exposure, not just for the university, but for me.

I know that MY name will be attached to this prayer, and word of MY participation will spread. As the daughter of a preacher, I know too well the concern about what others will think. I fear MY motives will be critiqued by people who do not know me, in places I have never been. I also know I will be labeled and judged by individuals who do not know MY heart. And lam fearful of censure from those who know and love me.

Why am I afraid? I am fifty-two years old, and yet I fear the disapproval of MY parents. I know that MY father always encouraged MY mother and his daughters to pray at home. I also know he invited women to pray in the numerous ladies’ Bible classes he taught (a bold move in his day). But I do not know what MY parents will think about this decision and MY part in it. On the other hand, I am concerned that this public prayer will bring criticism to MY parents and their ministry, as well as to our son and his work in the Kingdom.

Why am I afraid? Due to the public nature of this prayer, I am once again haunted by memories of other public experiences in which I faced disapproval. On one such occasion, Stuart and I conducted a weekend seminar for a congregation and taught side by side in the “private” space of the fellowship hall. We were also asked to teach a combined adult Bible class on Sunday morning, conducted in the “public” space of the auditorium. Stuart introduced our lesson, while I stood at his side. The moment I began to speak, part of the audience rose and walked out. I vividly remember how the minister, after the class was over, wept unabashedly as he extended his sincere and earnest apology to us. I also remember when we were introduced to a Wednesday night audience in the auditorium of another congregation. At the last minute, it occurred to the individual presenting us to “put it to a vote” as to whether I should be allowed to teach with Stuart. One person

2


https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/leaven/vol4/iss2/3


objected, so I was asked to remain seated while Stuart taught the class. These were uncomfortable moments, and 1 feel that discomfort today.

I feet a sense of obligation to others who are making this journeyj and I am empowered to make MYsetf (qiozvn.


6 Leaven, Spring, 1996


I feel the weight of the past and the responsibility placed in MY hands as I await the beginning of convocation. I express MY fears to Stuart, who stands beside me. His words ring clearer and truer than any others, “Do not be afraid. Forget about what others will think or say. When you step to the podium, just enter your closet and pray.” I feel I am being called to courage. “Prince of Peace control MY will; bid this struggling heart be still.

Bid I fears and doubtings cease; hush MY spirit into peace.”

March, 1996

I did step into MY closet when I led that prayer four years ago, and it was a singular moment in MY spiritual pilgrimage. A deep and abiding calm came over me, and I felt anointed by God’s spirit. Since then, 1 have led other prayers in convocation. There have been other invitations to pray at Sunday evening prayer services, and I have found the courage to respond. 1 am still fearful, but I am less so (in fact, I have never been comfortable leading prayer in any setting). I am discovering that most of MY fears are unfounded although a few are very real. News of MY first prayer in convocation did appear in numerous church bulletins and journals. One headline read, “A Late Item on D’Esta Love of Pepperdine University.” It informed the congregation that “There are indeed wolves among us” and concluded with a final pronouncement, “Depart from me, I NEVER knew you.” I received letters from people I did not know telling me I should “hang MY head in shame.” However, I received far more letters and calls expressing encouragement.

I also found occasion to talk with MY parents about MY fears and
       
MY views concerning greater opportunities for women to use their gifts in the Kingdom.

 


The Pattern for the Synagogue and Church is READ or SPEAK the Word,  Paul understood that women asking questions about the CLEAR TEXT were Questioning it. "I know, BUT."

1Cor. 14:34  Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

1Cor. 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
1Cor. 14:36 ¶ What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?


Also, I am much less fearful today because I see positive change taking place. The days when Randy was removed from MY Sunday school class are almost gone. Rarely are Stuart and I censured for teaching scripture together in any setting. Greater avenues of service are opening for women in the church, and we are doing a better job of helping men and women identify their gifts in the Kingdom. We have more women in graduate Bible programs in our Christian colleges, preparing to give their lives to the service of the Lord, and I am confident he will find ways to use them. We live in a time of struggle and change, but I believe it is a time of courage and hope.

This is MY personal journey, and I am becoming more courageous in MY faith. I do not mean to imply that I am “charging the gates”; I am not. But I am less content to hide behind MY “walls of silence.” I feel a sense of obligation to others who are making this journey, and I am empowered to make MYself known. I am more secure in MY understanding ol scripture that calls me to witness to MY faith, to lend MY voice in praise to MY king, to “lift up holy hands” and speak his name in prayer.

Questions for discussion:

1.    Have any of you had similar experiences? Is this an experience unique to women in the church?

2.    To what extent should we trust our feelings? Is something wrong simply because it causes us to uncomfortable?

3.    What can we do to break down the barriers of fear and empower men and women to use their gifts freel?

4.    Why does the author always place her experiences within the realm of an invitation? What is significant about an invitation, and is it necessary or helpful?

BECAUSE, UNKNOWN AND UNKNOWABLE TO ANYONE WHO SELLS THEMSELVES TO AID GOD:

Acts.17.25.God.Not.Worshipped.Mens.Hands.html

D’Esta Love is the Dean of Students at Pepperdine University and serves as an editor of Leaven.

Published by Pepperdine Digital Commons, 2012 3  4.31.22  28

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